200582

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm sad, my dad tells me ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I know he means well..."

"NSFW. What do you call a starving Kenyan child in the desert Nobody really cares."

"Riddle: What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak? A dead bird"

"Thanks for increasing the value of my asset over time. I really appreciate it."

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana"

"Little known fact: most shepards have NO idea how many sheep are in their flock.... Every time they try to count them....."

"I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though."

"I walked up to a guy in the gym. I said, ""How do you use this piece of equipment?"" ""It's pretty simple,"" he replied, ""Just push the button and it dries your hands..."""

"Please help me find my lost pet sloth. It was just right here and, oh, never mind, it's still right here."

"#rudolph > .nose { background: red; border-radius: 50%; @include shiny; }"