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Joke of the Day

"*Dorothy pummells Glenda with a ruby slipper DAFUQ YOU MEAN I HAD THE POWER TO GO HOME ALL ALONG?!! YOU SENT A MINOR TO MURDER A WITCH!!??"

Next Joke
 
"How do you surprise a blind man? Stick a plunger in the toilet"
"[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] ""Dr that's the model skeleton"""
"What is the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver? The drunk driver passes a stop sign, the stoner waits for it to turn green."
"You know you're in a shitty bar when the food is colder than your beer."
"A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with ""I am a hurricane induced tornado""."
"My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other... Her name is Ilene Wright."
"Humour is of two types below the belt and above the forehead."
"What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman."
"Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:1. Stay together forever2. Break upNo pressure."
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