200505

Joke of the Day

"Dad : Did you hear about the kidnapping at school ? Son : No, what happened ? Dad : It is ok he woke up."

"Lindsay Lohan said she's voting for Mitt b/c ""employment is really important right now"" Like it's Obama's fault no one wants to hire her."

"if money can't buy happiness explain pizza"

"What reddit page has that link/picture you're looking for? The next page."

"The only way that meal could have been more disappointing is if it were an M. Night Shyamalan film."

"Today was the annual Running of the Bulls in Spain. So if you're sick of all the fake injuries at the World Cup, get ready for some real ones."

"Where do you find a zebra? 25 letters after a, brah."

"Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk."

"They say no two people can see a color the exact same way so does that mean color is like A Pigment of your imagination"

"Cops are kinda weird, asking stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Cause I have weed in the glove compartment?"