200492

Joke of the Day

"My friend showed me some of his childhood photos. ""These look nothing like you!"" My friend responded ""Why would they?"""

Next Joke
 
"Son:Dad, what is 'creeping inflation'? Father:It's when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit."
"I once dated a girl with twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozentit?"
"HR: Does anyone know what FMLA stands for? Me: Fire My Lazy Ass? HR: ... Me: I was gonna guess Lesbian Ass but thought that's inappropriate."
"How does a Jew make his tea? Hebrews it!"
"Women: Let me over-think everything you just said, connect them to things you said years ago and pick a fight about it when you least expect"
"When The Rock is about to do it to his wife I bet he says something sexy like ""You ready to Rock?!"" or ""Rock, paper, scissors?!"""
"what did one eye say to the other eye ""I don't know about you but something smells between us"" and then the the other eye says, ""what, the nose or the asshole its stuck in?"""
"I said to the gym instructor: ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said: ""How flexible are you?"" I said: ""I can't make Tuesdays""."
"I finally got around to watching Dr Strange It was about time"
Terms & Privacy