200458

Joke of the Day

"Go to a Mexican restaurant, get a table for two, tell them you're waiting for your date & then eat free chips & salsa for 7 years."

"Sometimes waking up means the best part of your day is over!"

"Why does Oedipus hate profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth."

"My town is holding their annual incest competition. I entered my sister."

".@Garfield because of your ""cartoon"" I fed my beloved Mr. Turtle lasagna & coffee for his birthday & he died. I will fuck your soul."

"If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground."

"You have to be careful when telling rape jokes... You never know who got buthurt"

"Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower??"

"Two's Company, Three's a Crowd"

"I've reached this point in life, where I have no idea what I'm doing. I've always been there, I just admit it now."