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Joke of the Day

"Why was Hitler a great comedian? Cuz you can't spell slaughter without laughter"

"What do you call a piece of spaghetti that steals people's identities? An impasta!"

"Bury it... ...it's my dad's 'dead joke'."

"I honestly don't know how much longer I can be expected to go on before I inherit a manor with a horrifying secret"

"What's the worst thing about being a paedophile? I guess, just trying to fit in."

"My girlfriend started bleeding during sex, and I told her to suck it up. In a few years, she'll bleed every month."

"""Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"" ""Please wait someone else is using it."""

"Also, kids? Don't DM us pretending you are some school official cancelling school. Closings don't work like that. & we're not that dumb."

"Wait in a dressing room until an employee comes to ask if they can help. Answer yes, pause, then say, ""But I need to be able to trust you"""

"Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night."