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Joke of the Day

"Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately."

"So if he didn't invent the internet... then why does everything in it run on ""Al Gore rhythms""?"

"Said Jesus to Buddha... ""... You're not taking your self very seriously."""

"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."

"Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says ""Previously on wasted potential..."""

"What's the difference between a white orgy and a black orgy? Five black people having sex is only considered a threesome."

"It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope."

"My friend asked me what my favorite calculator was... My friend asked me what my favorite calculator was. I told him they all had their plusses and minuses."

"""Are you already hot as shit? Then you'll look hot as shit in our glasses"" - Every glasses ad"

"INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR ""HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"""