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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the man that walked all day and only moved two feet? .....That's all he had."

"My Mexican teacher asked for a 2 page essay, he wasn't happy when I brought him Juan. Thought this up in the car and thought the nice people of the Internet would want to know :)"

"We didn't have Legos when I was a kid. We had Lincoln Logs & we could build anything with them: big cabin, small cabin, you name the cabin."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. ~ Will Shriner"

"I walked into a store today... ...and they were selling explosives disguised as prayer mats. I wasn't one to judge them; after all, they'd said prophets were going through the roof."

"Trojan condoms were named after a city that was maliciously and deceitfully entered and then burned to the ground? Hmmm...."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck-up cunts."

"I know it's crazy to think that every time I have deja vu, it's actually happened before, but..."

"Why is it so easy to fool an octopus? They're all suckers."

"After my prostate exam.... After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came. At that point, she whispered the 5 words no man wants to hear: ""Who the fuck was that?"""