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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dog who digs up ancient artifacts? A Barkeologist."
Next Joke
"Why do black people always die first in scary movies? Because they never run from nothin but the police"
"Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved."
"Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I've seen nothing good can come of this, but I'm a white guy so I'll stay."
"My mother + my father condom = MOST AWESOME PERSON ALIVE!"
"By the cup of Nescafe even the most secret thoughts turn into words, and by the bottle of vodka into actions."
"I hate it when people think I'm dumb. I follow current events. Like the World Cup, for instance. I'm totally rooting for Vuvuzela."
"First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless that beholder is your mom cause we all know that doesn't count."
"My friend didn't understand my poorly timed holocaust joke. So he asks me, ""What's a holocaust?"" And I reply ""Oh, about eleven million"""