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Joke of the Day

"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."

"Call me crazy, but I kinda like the way people look with their lips cut off"

"Whag did one cat say to the other? Meow"

"are oranges named orange because they're orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange shit idk"

"Guy: Police, yeah there's this black kid harassing a homeless person. Police: You had me at black"

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"""

"What do you call a hippopotamus wearing Tie Dye? ... A hippiepotamus"

"I saw a play that had King Midas meeting Oedipus. It was pure motherfucking gold."

"Freaking out people walking round the cemetery dressed as a Ghostbuster."

"What did one Spanish speaking white supremacist say to the other Spanish speaking white supremacist after eating a piece of delicious cake? Que queque!"