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Joke of the Day
"I saw a play that had King Midas meeting Oedipus. It was pure motherfucking gold."
Next Joke
"what did the cookie say to the supermodel? I promise not to crumb in your mouth."
"9 year old told me this today. My favorite exercise is a mix between a crunch and a lunge... It's called lunch. Dad, I'm hungry."
"Why is the number 8 the only number that goes to heaven? When it dies it becomes immortal. ∞"
"Remember, you are statistically more likely to be killed by a donkey than a plane crash. [Donkey Pilot turns and does throat slit gesture]"
"Vaccine to cooties 4chan"
"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice."
"What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47."
"If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, ""In Jesus name, amen,"""
"A blonde asks her brunette friend... ... ""Didn't you get an HIV test last week?"" ""Yeah, it came back negative"" answered the brunette The blonde responds ""Maybe you should study next time"""