20006

Joke of the Day

"I wonder how many lightbulbs it takes to change a baby."

"Pft damn police.... The lady down the street stands in her window naked watching me jerk off and *I'm* the pervert."

"Why did Skrillex get fired from the antique shop? Because he d-d-d-d-dropped the vase. Stupid. I know."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean....."

"A magical tractor is driving down a road... and turns into a field."

"The most complicated thing about women is the way their brains don't make any sense."

"I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend Until the LSD wears off and I'm actually dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park"

"Did you hear about the piece of scrap wood? He went to BOARDing school and applyed (applied) to college."

"[someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened"

"Do you think Reese Witherspoon calls her kids Reese's Pieces cause I hope so."