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Joke of the Day

"Was just told to take my labor day decorations down. I guess a giant inflatable woman giving birth in your front yard is tacky or something."

"What is green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it seen the Salad dressing ( I'll see myself out)"

"Gf: am I pretty or ugly? Bf: you're both hun :) Gf: what do you mean both? Bf: you're pretty ugly."

"How do Gay Men get divorced? Both sides get nothing."

"Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap He was high on my list of priorities"

"What's the best thing about bee's? It's knees."

"Ask your doctor if practicing medicine is right for him"

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb, the other to hold the ~~penis.~~ ladder."