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Joke of the Day

"Know how to tell the sex of an ant? Throw it in water! If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats... buoyant."

"Anyone else find it slightly suspicious that a massive plane's gone missing over the same ocean that Bin Laden's floating in.....?"

"How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to shoot the room for being black."

"What's an Irish seven-course meal? A six-pack and a potato"

"How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff? A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch."

"Interviewer: ""What did you like best about your last job?"" Me: ""Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."""

"[my 1st day as a doctor] I can't find a pulse [patient] that's a trashcan. I'm over here [me] hold on, I think this trashcan is dying"

"How do billboards communicate? Sign language"

"""That goddamn janitor drew a dick on the chalkboard again!"" (Bad Will Hunting.)"

"The jokes on you Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""