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Joke of the Day

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? One hundred. Five and the rest in the ashtray. (An Austrian friend told me this joke.)"

"Sign at restaurant reads: Eat here diet home"

"Funny knock knock jokes to use during sex. Keep it going. Knock knock... whos there?... sperm! :D"

"I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down."

"When Wall-E first came out I was like ""'what a profound statement"" and now, a few years older, I'm like ""gimme one of those sick chairs."""

"I got throw out of university for plagiarism... Their words, not mine."

"What is the most popular band in Japan? Fall Out Boy"

"Me: I have Schrodinger like reflexes ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" Me: Yes and No."

"aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?"