199560

Joke of the Day

"Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I'm about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren't working"

"""So where are you from?"" - I'm a Liberian ""Oh sorry *whispers* where are you from?"""

"Militant feminists: I take my hat off to them. They don't like that."

"My face is permanently frozen into this scowl. You were right, Grandma."

"The unemployment rate rose to 9.8% and Twitter is expected to see about a 10% hike to hit 200 million users by New Year's. Coincidence? No."

"Why are programmers bad at doing laundry? They throw all their dirty clothes on the heap."

"I am against Picketing But I don't know how to show it"

"How do you make a little boy cry twice when your finished wipe your dick on his favourite teddy bear"

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one hesrs it, Do the squirrels sleep sideways?"

"Why is it called a ""litter"" of puppies ? Because they mess up the whole house !"