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Joke of the Day

"The unemployment rate rose to 9.8% and Twitter is expected to see about a 10% hike to hit 200 million users by New Year's. Coincidence? No."

"Yo mama is so ugly the government moved halloween to her birthday."

"Dad joke- Car sick. I was riding in the car with my cousin and uncle. My cousin says ""I think i'm getting car sick"". Her dad says, ""Well if you get out of the car then you'll just be sick""."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder... Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and abstinence makes the hand grow stronger."

"What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus? ""This is my body, I'm nice with jam."""

"myself. Sometimes I get ahead of"

"I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser."

"My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!"

"[marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over"

"There are 3 types of students in my school. Those that are good at maths and those that are bad."