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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Poodle? If a Rottweiler starts humping your leg you let it finish."

"Office Theft Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word"

"""What if Waldo finds me first?"" I ask naively. Grandma closes the book; the blood drains from her face. ""Don't let that happen,"" she warns."

"""mainstream"" = ""white people found out"""

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and he slams in down in one gulp. ""What do I owe ya?"" asks the neutron. ""For you? No charge."""

"If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unnatractive They'd eventually find me attractive"

"When I was a kid I made friends with the wrong people. ""those aren't people, those are stray dogs"" my mom would say as she dressed my wounds"

"Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise? She heard he was in a few good men."

"Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?"

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."