180045

Joke of the Day

"""What if Waldo finds me first?"" I ask naively. Grandma closes the book; the blood drains from her face. ""Don't let that happen,"" she warns."

"What's the same between a smart blonde and a UFO? You keep hearing about them, but you never see one"

"What's white and smells like black paint? The freshly painted fence. What's black and smells like white paint? The 6 year old who painted it"

"If Trump wins after Obama leaves office... Does that mean that orange really is the new black?"

"a goddess makes a six second video da vine"

"That moment. You're driving, music blaring singing at the top of your lungs. You're a rockstar till the music cuts out & you hear your voice"

"What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car? Sewed him"

"I don't have ""safe sex"" ... ... because I have never been turned on by anything with a combination lock."

"Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)"

"A pedo, an alcoholic, and a priest walk in to a bar. And that's just the first guy."