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Joke of the Day

"Why do professional product reviewers like vacuum cleaners? No matter how good or bad it is, they can truthfully say ""it sucks."""

"Don't fall in love. You will get feelings and die."

"""Mom! I'm going out!"" - You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt - Why not? - Because I can see your balls, Richard."

"My friend asked if I would stop singing Maroon 5 songs. I said: ""I don't think so."""

"What do you call a closet full of lesbians? A liquor cabinet."

"Splashed myself while washing the dishes naked At least I can say I got my dick wet"

"Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along? Because they were being ""brewed"""

"Did you hear about the cross-eyed carpenter? He *literally* can't even."

"Gay jokes aren't funny come on man"

"Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it."