199364

Joke of the Day

"I almost got ran over by joggers. I saved myself by pretending to be a stop light. I got away while they jogged in place."

"You should never kiss someone on Jan 1... It is only the first date."

"A blonde opened a hair salon next to a graveyard and named it ''Curl Up and Dye.''"

"Sometimes I forget I'm from Florida and then I remember when I was 9, my dad had me drive the golf cart so he could get drunk on the course."

"What's the difference between a cow and The Bible? You can't milk a cow for 2,000 years."

"What kind of flour is independent? Self-Raising flour.. I'll get my coat."

"How many Zionists does it take to change a light bulb? [OC] Just one. And if you disagree with me, you're an anti-Semite."

"What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader."

"There's an ISIS comedy night coming up... I would go but i'm fairly certain they're all going to bomb."

"Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up."