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Joke of the Day

"Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. That very same day, Chuck Norris received an award for masturbating in public."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year!"

"*Shoves a guy* I think you mean the SECOND biggest ""The Sound of Music"" fan on earth, bro."

"Procrastination Some times I procrastinate so badly on one item of home work that I do other homework to get out of doing that one item"

"Just stuck my tongue in an outlet. The results were shocking."

"Oh hey, sorry I accidentally rolled out of your bed, across your floor, down the stairs, out the door, into my car and back in my own bed."

"so i was on youtube... and people started making jokes here's the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=V7-XLL3nbYU&feature=fvwp great song too"

"I'm only friends with people who are taller than me, just in case of thunderstorms."

"Quasimodo walks into a pub Goes up to the bar and asks for a scotch whiskey. Barman asks ""bells alright?"" Quasimodo snaps ""mind your own fucking business"""

"A carpenter's workshop's light went out To find his way around, he picked up his hammer and saw."