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Joke of the Day
"The reason I married an Asian chick... Is so I get to eat Chinese every night."
Next Joke
"*jumps into volcano as sacrifice* *volcano spits me back out*"
"Really, Weather Guy? It's gonna be a ""pleasant"" weekend? How about you go to Stacy's baby shower and report back."
"How do you tell the difference in an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste"
"Veterinarian- You're here to discuss your dog's salivation? Me- No. My dog's a good dog, he'll go to Heaven! I'm here about his slobbering."
"just saw a political argument on twitter that ended with everyone deciding that they disagreed but respected each other's opinions lol jk"
"The phrase ""you two deserve each other"" sounds like a compliment, but never is."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? because the 'p' is silent."
"when they read side effects in prescription drug commercials they should show the actors actually suffering from them instead of canoeing"
"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."""