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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the best dad joke? He was the groom's father. Not part of the joke: Yes I made that up in the shower this morning."

"My roommate told me my clothes look gay. I told him to have some respect. They just came out of the closet."

"So last night I had a stroke of genius. Two nights ago I named my penis Genius."

"The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples."

"My dad wants to open a funeral home.. Doss Family Mortuary : ""We'll take care of your stiffies for you"""

"I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand."

"Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ...."

"Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?"

"The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet."

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know y."