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Joke of the Day
"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know y."
Next Joke
"Sarah Jessica Parker? Horse."
"If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I'd totally be expecting some change back."
"*brakes hard* *throws arm across passenger seat to protect pizza*"
"When it comes to gun control, the first thing that should be banned are tee shirt cannons."
"Left my iPod in the Washer and Dryer... I accidentally left my iPod in the washer and dryer, and when I took it out, all of my songs with explicit lyrics had been deleted."
"What did the bisexual sperm say in the morning? UGH!! I WANTED EGGS BUT THIS TASTES LIKE ASS!!"
"What do you call someone who is known for being heartless and cold to others? Dead"
"Hear about that kidnapping? He woke up"
"Why do deaf women wear tight jeans? So you can read their lips."