199180

Joke of the Day

"""What are the names of the 3 greatest kings who have brought more happiness and peace into people's lives than anything else?"" Answer: Smo-KING, drin-KING, and fuc-KING !"

"People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape."

"Myth: Have kids close in age. It gets easier and they'll have a friend to play with Fact: They'll fight. Every hour. Every day."

"I watched a gang bang video involving several bus drivers and one woman. She looked bored for half an hour, then suddenly they all came at the same time."

"What happened to the man who had a Disney character lodged up his rectum? He had the Mickey taken out of him"

"I've always stood up for black people. It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat."

"Aren't we all supposed to die next month or is that cancelled?"

"I learned about being sad from my dad. He's kind of a lamentor to me."

"What's the difference between a fence and Ellen Pao One knows how to link properly."

"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"