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Joke of the Day

"Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous"

"Can't shake this headache. Perhaps the shaking isn't helping"

"How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky? He's got one clean finger!"

"If your nervous tick is pointing to the sky then might i suggest not going to auctions anymore."

"Why did the siamese twins moved to England? So the other one would also drive"

"The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen."

"What do you call a charming tool? A rake"

"Two snowmen are standing in a field... One snowman turns to the other and says, ""yeah, I smell carrots too."""

"next time you're considering wearing a fedora just think ""what would jesus do?"" because jesus wouldn't wear a fedora."

"Fucking kids these days is not an appropriate answer to ""what have you been up too"""