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Joke of the Day

"Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous"

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5"

"Where did the cow go? It mooved."

"What is that thing called when your crush likes you back? Imagination."

"JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the"

"To the person who stole my shoes at the McDonald's playplace: Please grow up."

"What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control? Parents."

"I wish I was able to say as many things with a simple 'mmmmhhhmmmmm' as your average elderly black woman."

"Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out."

"No one understood my joke about the virus outbreak... I guess you had to be there to get it."