198962

Joke of the Day

"What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !"

"Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: ""Mmmwaaaaaaaooooomm!"" The second whale looks over and and says: ""Dude, you're really drunk."""

"I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone"

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the fresh prints."

"I once went out with a girl who worked with bees My friends said she was a keeper"

"What do I think about my toes? They couldn't be further from my mind."

"I went out drinking last night and took a bus home That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"Did you here that Lorena Bobbitt got killed in a car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"I was born disabled I couldn't walk, had no hair, couldn't talk, just laid there and shit myself...."

"A guy tells his friend a long sleeping joke, which his friend hates. ""That was a bed joke,"" said his listening friend."