198855
Joke of the Day
"Did yoy hear what happened to the dyslexic satanist? He sold his soul to Santa."
Next Joke
"A man has three testicles. He goes to the doctor and says, ""Doc, I have one more testicle than you."" The doctor replies, ""Really? You have eight?"""
"Twitter handles are what would happen if the DMV let everyone put whatever they wanted on their license plates."
"[first date] me: they know me here date: *reading sign on wall* ""No Puppetry""? me (proudly): I'm the reason they have that"
"Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money."
"If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series... They should name the last one - ""Fast10 - Your Seatbelt"" in memory of Paul Walker."
"I like my women like I like my herpes... alllll on my dickkkk oh *yaaaah*"
"DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life."
"Why don't black people stain white clothes when they pick them up? Their palms are white."
"Why come cats purr? It's your pussy's way of saying ""I love you."""