198726
Joke of the Day
"I would really appreciate it if everyone great would stop dying"
Next Joke
"A man walks into a bar. Ouch."
"Husband to wife: Honey, what would you do if I won the lottery? Wife: I'd divorce you and take half the money Husband: Well I won $10, here's your 5, now fuck off!"
"How 'done' do you want your burger? I can do ""well-done"" all the way to ""CPR might actually work."""
"Him:The seven dwarves were on a bus, they all started to feel Sleepy. So Sleepy got off. Me:Oh come on, man! That pun was Dopey!"
"This stupid farmers market doesn't have any locally grown pizza."
"What do you call a Greek skydiver? Condescending"
"One of my biggest fears is that before I die, spiders will evolve the ability to coordinate their legs and run like horses."
"Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'."
"Ultracrepidarianism is the habit of giving opinions & advice on matters outside one's knowledge or competence. Or, as I call it, tweeting."