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Joke of the Day

"Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'."

"I'm pretty sure that spiders have figured out that I'm terrified of them, and have created a game to see who can make me flip out the most."

"Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?"

"My math professor had to go into rehab yesterday. He had sum problems."

"I don't mind lesbians, actually. They're still women who won't sleep with me, but at least it's nothing personal."

"There's no way that Cinderella was treated like crap her entire life, then a prince tells her he loves her & she wasn't like ""yeah right."""

"No joke, I'm in India This is no joke, I took a long light to India after a long time. I see so many lines, long lines of cars and buses, lines for shopping. etc. No punchline."

"My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them... I suggested ""breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."""

"What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle? My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle."

"A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror."