198719

Joke of the Day

"[as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first"

"Why can't you shop in the UAE? There's nothing Dubai."

"I was going to tell some rabbit jokes But people tend not to carrot all about them."

"Two Native Americans walk into a restaurant... The concierge asks, ""Do you have reservations?"" One of the guys replies, ""Yes; mine is in Oklahoma and his is in Arizona."""

"Two pedophiles sitting on a bench A 12 year old passes by. One pedophile looks at the other and says: Aaah, time forgives no-one. She must've been a stunner in her days"

"just saw a political argument on twitter that ended with everyone deciding that they disagreed but respected each other's opinions lol jk"

"If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all."

"Never hit a man while he's down... Kick him, it's easier."

"Did you hear Giuseppe went to the bowling alley last night? Ebola perfect game!"

"UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home."