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Joke of the Day

"Do you like dragons? I'll be dragon deez nuts across ya head shortly."

"How do you get rid of an obese demon? You exercise it."

"Put a kid in a lake or a river and they never want to come out. Turn on a shower and it's like you're blasting them with nuclear waste."

"Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium? To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime."

"Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science..."

"The #AshleyMadisonHack is getting out of hand. Site just revealed that I've been cheating on my diet. I'm not even sure how they'd know that"

"The name's Bong. Jay Bong. Agent 420. Weed."

"- You are more attractive when you don't wear glasses -You too, when I don't wear glasses"

"A Greek and a Italian are having a beer. The Greek Says ""You know, we invented sex."" Then the Italian turn's and looks at him. ""Well we brought women into it."""

"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"