198619

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a censored DMX song? A really good instrumental"

"Self checkouts are great if you're in a hurry or don't want to pay for everything."

"Hello is this NASA? Ya what will happen if the sun decided to come out at night? Is it still called night or morning? Hello?"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to beat the room for being black."

"Robin Hood and Little John walking through the forest... Have fun getting that song out of your head."

"I'm so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn."

"[Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * ""That lady took one too!!"""

"Why do we call rulers ""Your Highness""? because that's what they measure."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change bulbs and 3 to sit around and complain that the original was better."

"Did you hear about Brussels? Looks like we'll be short on sprouts this year..."