198561

Joke of the Day

"I was having a good day until my imaginary friend stole my coloring book & crayons & he demands $100 for their return. What a stressful day!"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than three because the basement is still dark! *(Just heard this today, even though I know it's probably old!)*"

"Empty My head is just like the comments section. (I'm not sure if the 'Wow, such empty' is on PCs and laptops so... yeah...)"

"Monotony is my favorite bored game."

"I'll tell you what I know about dwarfs! Very Little Courtesy of Jimmy Carr"

"[first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] ""And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."""

"Jesus was talking to a crowd... Jesus was talking to a crowd, explaining he was the son of God. Everyone in the crowd said ""Nah, No way!"" Jesus stood up and said ""Yahweh!"""

"My family is very poor. If I don't wakeup with a boner on Christmas morning I won't have anything to play with."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any Pixar movie in his collection... But he's never gonna give you Up."

"Why did the dry cleaners get shut down? The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing"