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Joke of the Day
"Think about a future where humanity has no choice but to leave earth. It's unsettling"
Next Joke
"Me: Is that seat taken? You: You are pointing at my face... Me: I know."
"The dishwasher is making a strange noise. Probably because she's outside shoveling the driveway."
"What is the ONLY good trait of pedophiles? They always stick to the speed limit in front of schools."
"ceimr thats ""crime"" but in alphabetical order organized crime"
"""Turning on the dishwasher..."" Is what I call foreplay with my wife."
"Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn't know you did that for fun."
"I was going to sue U2 for stealing one of my songs But I found out my lawyer was pro-bono."
"I vote for less election coverage"
"I don't get what's so great about hand jobs. She's always ends up falling asleep by the time I get her whole hand in my mouth."