198145

Joke of the Day

"Boobs are like Christmas trees... ...it doesn't matter if they are real or fake, as long as they look good."

"A man comes into the doctor's office the doctor says: ""Clean that up yourself."""

"The Grim Reaper walks over to you in his Uggs, taps his Michael Kors watch and says, ""you're literally dead."""

"A person's tongue immediately becomes a toothbrush after you mention ""teeth"" in a conversation."

"How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was."

"Sequencing. What's the key to a good joke?"

"Why does Yoda think 5 is afraid of 7? Because ""6, 7 ate""."

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ... The 5 stages of buying petrol."

"Two men walk into a bar, which is strange since you'd think the second one would have seen it when the first one hit it."

"What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain."