198063

Joke of the Day

"When is a pig an ecologist? When he recycles garbage into ham."

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"I wouldn't be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes."

"What if Jesus actually walked on Walter and that whole water thing was a typo that no one corrected coz there was no Twitter?"

"If you hold the iPad up to your ear you can hear the ocean but only for a little while and only if you're standing right next to the ocean."

"Today I sent out a text saying, ""Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?"" 12 people called me...I need damn smarter friends."

"At first I didn't know how to dig a trench but then I got to the bottom of it."

"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."

"Kids these days sure do love taking pictures of mirrors."

"What does a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it."