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Joke of the Day

"My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff."

"What's the best time to go to a dentist? Two thirty"

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got fired because I couldn't concentrate."

"Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking."

"What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball? 'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!"

"So they made the essay optional for the new SAT test... but isn't the SAT without the essay just the T"

"I'm so fresh... ...I get put in the produce section."

"BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat."

"[Jewish Joke] What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? They break their nose. (note - I'm Jewish so this is OK)"

"changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps it told me i didn't have enough people in the car"