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Joke of the Day

"Poor Sally (2 parter) Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... **quickly followed by** Knock Knock *Who's there?* Not Sally."

"What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle? Optimistic"

"The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have."

"Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife"

"When my son goes to a party I always tell him ""No drinking, no drugs and ALWAYS be the first person in a Human Centipede chain."""

"What is the deadliest volcano? Mount Kill-a-man-jaro"

"I played tennis with a eunuch once... No competition, the balls were in my court."

"[tries to walk into my How to Use a Revolving Door class and ends up outside again] what the heck"

"You guys are so selfish, only think about yourselves, not important stuff. Who the FUCK is going to narrate Morgan Freemans life? WHO?!"

"What does a dishonest frog say? FIBBET"