197905

Joke of the Day

"I constantly google ""how to put your kids up for adoption"" so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I'm not messing around."

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus wiping off Klingons"

"I have a magic dog... It's a labracadabrador."

"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when they are hit with an axe multiple times."

"PS3 messin around I need a picture of a 16 year old girl that is believable, not suspicious. Please don't ask why, I'm just a bit messed up in the brain"

"Why did the proctologist have his cars towed to the auto repair shop? He rectum."

"Sunday. Fun day. One day. Done day. Monday. Fuck."

"Mitt Romney's Presidency."

"*dies & becomes a ghost* Wow! The philosophical & theological repercussions of this are staggering! I've got to tell-- *is eaten by Pac-Man*"

"Two cows are standing in a barn. Cow 1: Hey, did you hear about the big outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter."