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Joke of the Day

"The person who invented the word fuck was probably tapped on the shoulder while they had headphones on."

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"A man calls his boss to call in sick... The boss asks him, ""How sick are you anyway?"" ""I fucked my sister! Is that sick enough for you?"""
"What do you call a homeless pigeon? A pigeon."
"Legally your grocery store can't stop me from tapping on the canned goods and declaring which ones are ripe or not."
"wonder if ppl who watch the show Finding Bigfoot are aware that every episode they watch will end with them not finding Bigfoot..."
"A frog jumped higher than a building... ...because buildings can't jump."
"Should you make jokes about fizzy drinks? No they'll just go to pop!"
"Looking forward to his next movie Night at the Mausoleum"
"What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos."
"Oh man almost forgot the trash *takes trash out, a nice little sushi place* This is great *sees wife there with the recycling* WHAT THE HELL"