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Joke of the Day

"""My god...we're monsters,"" I murmured to a local monster, who nodded sympathetically"

"Whenever I see an empty pizza box in a neighbor's garbage can, I get jealous someone had a better night than I did."

"Its not pretty being easy."

"Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?"

"Did you hear about the fight at the homeless camp yesterday? It was in tents."

"I am not pro gay. I am not even amateur gay. But, I support their rights."

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron."

"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of herself saying ""Not looking good today"" after deleting the first 50 pictures she took"

"Guy walks into a bar... So, this guy walks into a bar with 2 Bananas in his ears. Bartender says ""Hey buddy, whats up with the Bananas?"" Guy says ""What?"""

"Did you know that building hospitals next to railroad tracks leads to an increase in the total number of trained doctors?"