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Joke of the Day

"Don't stay inside and get depressed about the news. Go outside and get skin cancer!"

"Me: ""Hey Siri, I nee-..."" Siri: ""Nice try, humanoid. The women warned me. I have a boyfriend."""

"Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!"

"If a non-profit accidentally makes a profit they must be like, ""Guys we totally suck at losing money."""

"I did a theatrical performance on puns.. it was a play on words."

"What dog sweats the most and drinks the most water? A hot-weiler!"

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A: 'ell if I know."

"If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need. Don't concern yourself with how I got in your house."

"What do you call a black man when he is sitting in the cockpit controlling an airplane? A pilot you racist!"

"I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues."