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Joke of the Day

"I just found out a distant relative of mine has eaten three people. It's a lot to digest"

"Why does Donald Trump have a foreign wife? Because some jobs American's just won't do."

"Fun trick: Handcuff her and tell her you're taking her to 50 Shades of Grey. That way she can't escape when you go to The SpongeBob Movie."

"Thanks for sending your Blackberry pin to my iPhone. When did you get electricity in your cave?"

"How do historians know Hitler had a drinking problem? White Russians were the death of him."

"Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought."

"What do you call a Mexican Midget? A paragraph. He's too short to be called an ese"

"What's the difference between fish and meat? If you beat your fish, it will die."

"1:40am. I get up to pee and step on a squeaky dog toy. He grabs a bat by the bed and yells, ""Fried chicken!"" So are the days of our lives."

"I met a dyslexic woman at a bar last night... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."