95715

Joke of the Day

"Me: There's a real fat one on the other team! Her: ""My son's not fat!"" How you know I was talking about him? ""Cuz he's the.."" Fat one? ""Ya."""

"Perfection ""Practice makes perfect"" ""Nobody's perfect"" I'm so confused"

"What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months? The fruits of her labor."

"A police man pulls over a car in the middle of the night ""Sir, do you realise how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"" ""I've had 8 drinks, officer."" ""That's no excuse to let your wife drive..."""

"How do you get a woman to pick cotton?' Set her tampon string on fire."

"Why did the president start the bar fight? So he could pass the bill."

"Went to the corner shop... Bought four corners."

"A handsome and well dressed old man walks into a bar... ... approaches a good looking elderly lady, and says: ""Do I come here often?"""

"I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?"

"My friend told me I don't know what irony is Which was ironic, because we were at a bus stop."