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Joke of the Day

"Guys, if a girl just wants to ""be friends,"" then borrow $100 from her and never pay her back. Like a ""friend"" would."

"Why was the beaver homeless? He just couldn't give a dam."

"""Dad, why did your generation find a fat guy singing in Korean & pretending to ride a horse entertaining?"" ""I don't know son, I don't know."""

"I have this thing where I like to take a crap with the door open. Unfortunately, not everyone at Starbucks feels the same way."

"What does a guy with a big dick eat for breakfast? Well, this morning I had scrambled eggs, hash browns, a side of bacon, a glass of milk..."

"The noblest of dogs is the hot-dog... ...it feeds the hand that bites it."

"My wife's signature move is asking me a question then turning on the faucet when I answer."

"HELLO automatic flushing toilet!! I appreciate the enthusiasm but I really wasn't finished"

"Satan: Welcome to hell! You can spend all eternity walking barefoot across legos OR you can wear these crocs. Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

"What does the Sargeant of the Knowledge division always tell his troops to get? in formation"