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Joke of the Day

"Did ya hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field"

"What do you call a fish with no eye? Disabled."

"The fun thing about wigs is when someone complements you on your hair, you can rip it off and say, ""Here. Take it. No, I insist."""

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car next to an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hangar."

"I came home from work and finally caught the filthy bitch red handed. So I asked my daughter to please wash her hands if she masturbates on her period."

"Did ypu know premature ejaculations are hereditary? It comes in your jeans."

"What's the best part about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag's a plus."

"MAYOR: I now present you a key to the city ME: So long, suckers! *hops in city and drives away* MAYOR: Come back! I need that for work!"

"I got fired from my job at the pasta factory after a fusilli mistakes."

"Wrestling is so stupid I can't believe people pay to watch people without pants risk their lives for a belt"