197310

Joke of the Day

"I'm like a reverse MacGyver. I can take a perfectly working item, step on it drunk, then turn it into dozens of unusable, meaningless parts."

"How do you get rid of an itch? Start from scratch."

"C'mon phone, let's go to bed."

"I am so bad at self-deprecation"

"Latvians don't know Fonz... ...they don't have happy days."

"Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym."

"What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist? ""Let me be Frank with you."""

"Just need to grow I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn't get bacon seeds anywhere."

"How do you spot two bffs in prison They finish each other's sentences"

"TIL that Benjamin Franklin loved containers. It was frequently said that Ben was on a bin binge."