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Joke of the Day

"I am so bad at self-deprecation"

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"If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar..."
"What's the loneliest drink? I dunno but its in a solo cup."
"Wanna hear a joke?? Womens rights!! Even better? They believe it!!"
"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""
"Who is the greatest author of the medieval era? King Author"
"What is the difference between complete and finished? If you find the right woman, you're complete."
"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"
"Did you hear about the hooker who had an appendectomy? Now she makes money on the side."
"I believe that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs."